"In provocative therapy you
play devil's advocate with the client. It's like the affectionate
teasing banter between close friends - you side with the negative
half of the client's ambivalence about themselves and their life's
goals"
I first heard about Frank Farrelly while assisting
on one of Dr Richard Bandler's seminars when he famously remarked;
"If you think I'm wild, you should meet Frank!"
From that moment on I was curious about what such
a meeting would produce and on April 30th 2004 in Bournemouth, I finally
got the opportunity to find out.
Day 1
Frank began the first day by introducing himself
and commenting that as this was a smaller seminar that usual, each
delegate could introduce themselves and their particular reason for
wanting to attend the seminar. The variety of delegates came from
various backgrounds, including hypnotherapists, sales and marketing
directors and other professions with one individual travelling all
the way from Mexico! Frank began the morning talking about the development
of Provocative therapy and explained that he was the ninth of a family
of no less than twelve children and that he had learnt much from his
family upbringing. Frank was born on August 26th 1931, so he has over
50 years of clinical experience!
Interestingly in the first hour of the seminar, he
commented
He proceeded to explain that Provocative Therapy
seeks to elicit five types of behaviour which are as follows -
- Assertive behaviour
- Self affirmatory behaviour
- Realistic and appropriate self defensive behaviours
- Psycho social reality testing behaviour
- Behaviour that denotes communicating positive messages
including warmth, affection, friendship, sexual attraction and love.
We were then given the opportunity for "interviews"
or 1 on 1 sessions with Frank which were recorded and which we were
then able to take home if we wished. Once this opportunity was announced,
the group reacted with a mixture of inevitable apprehension and excitement.
After all we had all heard of Frank's reputation for being a straight
talking guy and how he had the ability to get right to the point.
The individual sessions each lasted 25 minutes and
Kerrin Webb one of the Eos seminar organisers, was charged with the
responsibility of announcing when 25 minutes were up. The group also
collectively agreed not to talk amongst themselves during these sessions,
but it was fine to laugh aloud in response to what we heard and saw!
Needless to say I was in hysterics for most of these sessions as I
saw a master communicator and brilliant reframer at work!
The first three interviews addressed a variety of
individual questions and Frank skilfully built rapport with each person
and wonderfully set up "counterpoints" to each delegate teasing out
more of what was at the root of the question, by provoking each delegate
into reconsidering their initial perception of the "problem." Frank
speaks in a relaxed tone that often masks some of the more outlandish
comments that are carefully constructed and which if taken out of
context could be considered quite outrageous. When one of the delegate's
voiced an interest in losing weight Frank suggested that the delegate
could perhaps be happy to be seen as being more "Buddha like" commenting
-
"Why not just relax and let the Buddhist
blubber take over?"
Each delegate then had the opportunity to feedback
their reactions to Frank and the group. He would typically request
3 specific reactions.
Some delegates reported feeling "churned up" feeling
"spaced out" and in some cases feeling "pissed off". One of the delegates
suggested that there were similarities between provocative therapy
and homeopathy, which on reflection I consider to be a credible observation.
Frank was lightening quick in responding to each
client's responses and interestingly commented that he didn't have
predetermined ideas when relaying stories to clients, but it was clear
as an observer that he was building rapport with each delegate on
numerous levels whilst at the same time offering many wonderfully
provocative considerations. He described how he would "see pictures"
from talking to each client and would ask questions from what he noticed.
During the last half hour of the day, Frank talked
about his work in parapsychology and specifically remote viewing as
well as being a speaker at psychology conferences. From having
seen Frank up close, its clear to me that he is a real one off like
Milton Erickson and Dr Richard Bandler. One of the delegates asked
if his stories and questions were random and whether he pre selected
his subject material before starting each session. Frank indicated
that he simply started talking and let the conversation unfold. As
an observer I noticed that he is highly intuitive when working with
clients and made each delegate feel totally at ease while at the same
time making suggestions that were both outrageous and highly amusing!
As he mentioned in the first hour of the day, humour is a key tool
in provocative therapy.
Frank also mentioned that he managed once to listen
to a whole eleven minutes of Milton Erickson before falling asleep,
not due to boredom, but extreme tiredness! When discussing the use
of metaphors he lamented at how some therapists would focus on one
single metaphor for the duration of an entire session, "wringing the
life out of the metaphor". When one delegate to my amusement asked
if Frank's stories were entirely random, he responded by saying that
he was just an old guy who didn't really know what he was doing. The
only other person I have met who is as sharp as Frank is Dr Bandler
and I doubt that his approach would be anything like as effective
had he not modelled Frank in his early years! Frank is as sharp as
they come, working on many levels simultaneously and from what I have
seen, nothing slips by him.
Day 2
Day 2 began with Frank asking if anyone had any feedback, questions
or observations from the previous day. The subject moved to the application
of provocative therapy in specific clinical situations and Frank explained
that the number of client sessions could vary immensely from three
to as many as ten. He also interestingly made the following comment
about working with schizophrenics -
"Take your professional dignity and throw it out
the window in the service of the client"
Frank called the moment when a client assumes responsibility as "the
bingo moment" and suggests getting the client to vocalise this statement
three times. He commented that many such breakthroughs revealed themselves
as statements usually "blurted out!"
We then continued with further interviews when one delegate commented
that he had a problem for many years. Frank's immediate riposte was
"kind of like a pet?" Frank then enquired exactly how many years the
delegate was referring to. The delegate responded that this "problem"
had been troubling him for 30 years. Frank's response was
"That's not a problem, that's in the marrow of
your bones!"
I remembered that Frank had stated on day one that
there was no point in attempting to get to a safe vault through the
reinforced vault door, far better to get in from another place, such
as underneath. This is an excellent metaphor for Frank works, often
frustrating the client into revealing to themselves a different perception
of what they previously imagined their "problem to be! Frank sits
close to each client in interview situations and touches them at specific
moments within the conversation. I refrain at this point to describe
this as anchoring because when asked specifically about this Frank
mentioned that he had once met Dr Bandler in Santa Cruz but when asked
about anchoring during this seminar commented "I know nothing about
sailing"
The provocative responses from Frank continued with
in further interviews and it became clearer and clearer to me how
much he uses a combination of razor sharp humour and attitude to change
the client's perceptions. When one unsuspecting delegate enquired,
"Tell me more", Frank responded with the most eloquent tonality, "Fuck
you and the horse you rode in on!"
Later in the day an interviewee commented "I really
need spirituality" to which Frank responded, "Have you ever considered
fucking a member of the clergy?"
All of these outrageous comments flowed perfectly
within the warm and friendly banter that Frank had carefully set up
between both parties. The environment of friendly banter meant that
the comments still have a powerful impact, but in a safe surrounding.
In the afternoon, I finally got the opportunity to
work on an individual basis with Frank and to have a recording of
my own session. I found Frank once again to totally defy my expectations.
He works on so many levels that quite quickly my "NLP brain" lost
track of what was happening. I realised that I was truly in the hands
of a master communicator and within minutes, he had totally changed
my perception of what I had previously imagined to be a substantial
problem!
During the first few moments of the interview, Frank
established rapport with me and soon had nailed the heart of the subject
by making the comment:
"Well that is wonderful".
At one point during the interview I completely lost
track of what we were discussing and found myself in a state of confusion.
My three reactions to Frank and the interview were great humour, confusion
and mild annoyance with myself for endlessly reacting in such a predictable
manner to my situation over the preceding months!
On listening back to the recording later in the evening,
I found it to be hysterically funny. I also noticed that he had "analogue
marked out" all the delegates and addressed each delegate with a specific
voice tone and rhythm.
I realised that "provocative" does not mean aggressive,
rather that through provocation different scenarios are teased out
of the interviewee. Provocation literally meaning "to call forth."
During the final part of the day we worked in threes
and started practicing some of the provocative therapy exercises.
I began to realise just how different Provocative therapy is to hypnosis
and NLP and I had to really concentrate my attention in operating
in a quite different manner.
This view was further confirmed when I read our handouts
detailing specific exercises for the provocative therapist. The first
two exercises were "don't help the client" and "blame the client".
I was in hysterics when a further sheet entitled the "provocative
therapy blame list" detailing how the therapist could effortlessly
apportion blame for the client's problem to a whole range of factors.
These include destiny, family, history, the mind, nature and society
- in short anything but the patient themselves!
Bizarre as this all may seem, I am finding even within
two days that Frank's provocative therapy is extraordinarily effective
and is unlike any other approach I have encountered. I can already
see how this approach is going to be a valuable new skill set in client
and business interactions.
Day 3
The day began with Frank talking about his workshop
and how he ensured that he maintained a complete set of tools for
each job he would be working on. He continued to use this as a metaphor
throughout the day and I noticed that he has an excellent ability
to use combinations of gestures, voice tone, language, rhythm and
other skills to direct attention in different ways.
He also talked about the usefulness of assuming an
attitude of humility when "going into another's territory"
The first interview of the day was with a delegate
who mentioned that he thought he worried too much. I began to now
notice a pattern in Frank's interactions as within the first minute
he set up a strong visual image as a metaphor commenting -
"Boy you have a slow dick"
He then went on to suggest that the delegate
had "timid sperm". After the interview, the delegate commented that
he felt a weight had shifted from him and that he felt genuine warmth
for Frank and the time he had allocated to his situation. Frank commented:
"One
of my main aims in provocative therapy is to move the heart"
He also revealed that:
"With guys I buddy buddy them and then walk into
their hearts and minds"
I also noticed how Frank would often ask the client
about how old they were, what has happened to them and what they thought
would happen to them in the future. In short, he set up timelines
of possibilities for each client to consider. In my own session I
noticed that I found myself travelling back and forward unconsciously
and as I did so, my perceptions began to alter significantly!
Another strategy Frank used in provoking each delegate
was to comment on their level of intelligence! This engineered all
manner of reactions and once again provoked a shift in each delegate's
awareness to reframe the problem.
When one of the delegates asked about working with
alcoholics, Frank commented that many patients in such instances feel
overwhelmed by their situation and that was actually often the best
place for the therapist to start.
The most fascinating demonstration of the day was
when a delegate asked Frank about how best to resolve "failure patterns".
Frank then proceeded to give a wonderful explanation of how in life
there are winners and losers. When she asked if losing could sometimes
be useful, he replied:
"Yes for the winners"
Having set up this proposition in such a digital
manner Frank continued for 25 minutes to maintain this central theme.
When she asked about how people may put up barriers for defence, he
commented -
"A lot of winners put barriers up against losers"
The next morning some 14 hours later, I still found
my mind pondering on this interview and how 25 minutes of interaction
had explored a wealth of human perceptions that I so frequently found
in working with my own clients.
Day 4
The day began with Frank talking more about his work
with schizophrenics and one in particular who claimed that he was
from another planet and would only speak in this other planet's "mother
tongue". After working with the patient for some time and responding
in "alien language" the patient discovered his first few English words
which were "Fuck you Frank". I was greatly reminded of many of Richard
Bandler's stories in a similar vein and couldn't help noticing that
Frank's work predated NLP and wondered what NLP would have been like
had Richard not modelled Frank in Santa Cruz all those years ago.
"I approach what the client avoids"
One of the things that continued to impress me about
Provocative Therapy is how removed it is from the conventional classical
psychological approach. Frank talked about how with clients he would
often start talking about body image, which he viewed as the easiest
way into the client's self-conscious. He also commented -
"I tune into the client, but sometimes I
don't address what they say".
I noticed that over a series of interviews Frank
would address core issues through masterful use of metaphors. He talked
extensively about the reality of 50 years of working with all manner
of patients commenting -
"I never push a highly paying resistant
client."
As I began to track the day's interviews in more
detail, I noticed that recurrent themes would begin to appear. I saw
that in many of the interviews he would in the first few minutes present
a strong image to the interviewee and then begin to provoke them into
considering a wildly different alternative to their current model
of the world, usually with tremendous humour, which would result in
the patient discovering substantial internal changes, often after
an initial period of total confusion.
"I feel like a psychological social chameleon"
During the last section of the afternoon, Frank discussed
using Provocative Therapy in working with couples. He would seek to
elicit each partner's expectational set, and explore them. For the
women he would ask the men how their husband would rate them in the
following way -
-
As a companion
-
As a mother
-
As a housekeeper
-
As a cook
-
As a sex partner
When turning to the men he would ask how the women
would rate them -
"My interviews are my paintings"
The conversation shifted to discussing the many different
systems of psychotherapy and Frank observed that although the systems
can help with understandings its "people that help people".
In describing Provocative Therapy he commented:
"A lot of people can't tolerate the degree of
ambiguity in this stuff".
The final question of the day posed directly to us
was did we get our money's worth? This is was one of the best investments
in time and money I can recall and I shall be certainly training with
Frank again in the future. A true, innovative genius, Frank is a real
one off. If you get the chance to see him, grab it with both hands,
but prepare for an experience like no other.
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