When Frank Farrelly came to Bix manor to present
a seminar on provocative therapy, many of the assembled delegates
were unsure of what to expect.
Frank began the day by asking the 22 delegates exactly
how many seminars they had either presented or attended. I was surprised
to hear that between us, we had either presented or attended a total
of over 4500 seminars, which in my opinion was pretty impressive for
what Frank described as “a last supper sized group”
One of the many extraordinary aspects to Frank’s
seminars is that he is the master of unpredictability and multi levelled
communication. His first question of the day to us was “What
can I tell you that you have not already heard?”
He commented that an Austrian psychologist had suggested
that much of Frank’s work deals with archetypes “in a
conversational way”. Frank has the unique ability to tap into
the universal factors that affect us all and in doing so he is able
to provoke powerful responses that work on many levels, creating a
domino effect for change to occur. Over the next two days, I noticed
how Frank has an intricate insight into the many varying forms of
human interactions and how during the individual interview sessions,
he would frequently ask about an individual’s family, work and
personal relationships. I noticed how I was increasingly becoming
aware of how the relationships we form with others reveal a great
deal about our own beliefs and orientations to a far greater degree
than I had previously considered. Trying to keep track of Frank is
virtually impossible and to my great amusement many of those present
with NLP backgrounds commented that at certain points the seminar,
just when they felt that they had “grasped the patterns that
Frank was using” they then discovered that the mercurial Frank
confounded their theories. I could have told them from my own experience
that although it’s possible to detect a number of patterns in
the way that Frank works, there is almost another twist like watching
a really excellent thriller where just when you think you have figured
the conclusion to the plot out, you discover that it’s not what
you thought…
As luck would have it, I had the great fortune to
spend considerable time with Frank outside the context of the official
seminar and noticed that he is quite probably the most congruent trainer
I have met to date. Frank is exactly the same whether in front of
an audience or in a social gathering, always lightening quick with
his observations and with a wicked but wonderfully gentle sense of
humour. Interacting with Frank is like having a giant mirror held
up close, illuminated by the 200 watt light bulb!
Frank is able to produce a whole range of extraordinary
shifts in people’s internal perceptions as each individual is
invited into what Graham Dawes described as “The topsy turvey
world of Frank Farrelly!” At many points during the seminar
I thought to myself “I've a feeling we're not in Henley anymore…”
Frank’s questions often provoke strong reactions
with his use of powerful visual images to engage the client. These
interactions make perfect sense once Frank has set up what Phil Jeremiah
describes as “the safe bubble” with the client ,and all
the delegates I spoke to mentioned that they had experienced powerful
shifts in what they had previously perceived to be problematic situations.
Frank, as previously mentioned, is a master of unpredictability,
but even I was taken aback when during one session he suddenly broke
out into full song, singing what he described as an old Irish folk
song called “Shed a tear in a bucket of beer.” Initially
I thought he would only sing a few lines, but Frank true to form completed
the entire song in fine voice! The delegate subsequently commented,
“This is very weird, its like having furniture moved around
in my head” During the tea break on the first day many delegates
made similar comments, as Frank’s use of “conversational
archetypes” resulted in all manner of shifts on many levels.
During the two days, I was charged with the responsibility
of keeping time and ensuring that each “interview” lasted
exactly 25 minutes. This made me acutely aware of how quickly Frank
works and in each case he wastes no time whatsoever in getting to
the heart of the client’s problem. Often this will mean avoiding
what some would consider the “social niceties” and asking
quite blunt questions! I noted a few of these down, which included
“Have you ever tried shutting up”, “How much time
do you think you have left?” and “How much pain do you
need before you croak?”
Sometimes Frank would change the direction of the
interaction by referencing stories or particular songs, often from
the Country and Western genre. One such comment made in this way was
“A guy said I got all the money I need for the rest of my life,
providing I die at noon this Friday”
I noticed that each of these shifts in the communication
would produce a noticeable change of atmosphere and on several occasions,
it was clear when something had fundamentally changed in the clients
“model of the world”. I mentioned my observations about
this during one of the breaks and likened it to a jet passing through
the room the effect was so obvious!
The next interview followed a similar pattern I had
noticed in the workshop Frank had presented earlier in the year,
when the delegate talked about “win, win relationships”
Frank retorted, “mainly its win and lose.” The conversation
then followed a similar route to another interview I had witnessed
earlier this year in another of Frank’s seminars where Frank
proposed that in relationships there were “winners and losers”.
He asked, “Are you a winner or a loser in love?” When
the delegate mentioned that he never asked his first love out, Frank
commented, “That’s a loser talking” and went on
to ask “Were any of these real relationships or did you just
jack off? After all that’s what losers do…”
The conversation then turned to exploring the delegates
other relationships
Frank – “What do your parents think of
you?”
Delegate – “They think I’m fantastic!”
Frank – “So they lowered their standards?”
Later in the seminar, Frank described working with
clients as being similar to seeing 17 television sets simultaneously.
He also commented, “Sometimes I deliberately pretend to be idiotic,
sometimes it flows naturally” The next interviewee was a friend
of mine who had also attended Frank’s Master class earlier in
the year and was similarly impressed. After his inevitable opening
question of “So what’s the problem?” Frank commented,
“Those legs and those boots, I’m supposed to concentrate?”
He continued by saying, “You never noticed how you slow a guys
mind down?” I noticed how Frank would frequently resist dealing
directly with the delegate’s questions, but instead take them
on a different route which would equally resolve their dilemma, but
in a far more unpredictable manner. When she suggested she could become
an apprentice to him he retorted “Are you smart enough, have
you been considered smart?” He followed this line of questioning
with “Anyone smart in the family?” I noticed that Frank
often changes what we call in NLP terms “the referential index”
to seek out patterns of behaviour. He continued the theme of questioning
intelligence by commenting, “You got the brains to be a social
worker?”
After all, “there are a lot of things a woman
can do that don’t require brains…”
By the end of the seminar, I really began to think
that I had travelled down the yellow brick road to the “land
of Frank” many times and along with the assembled delegates
as left in no doubt that we had been in the presence of a true wizard
of communication.
